How often do you tell your teammates that you appreciate them?

“I appreciate you.”

I made a habit of communicating my appreciation for my teammates when they do something that I appreciate. I try to do this regardless of how small the behavior may be. Here is my standard… if I think to myself “I appreciated that” I make an effort to let my teammate know I appreciate them and what they did.

As a leader, you may not realize how infrequently people receive positive feedback. I assure you in most work environments it is far less than it should be.

The first time I do this with a teammate here is almost always the way it goes…

Me (calls my CT technologist): Hi ____ (insert name here), it’s Paul.

CT tech: Oh God, what did I do wrong?

Me: I was calling to let you know I appreciated that you did ____ and I appreciate you.

I do have a question though, why did you think I was calling about something you did wrong?

CT tech: I’m sorry, usually when a radiologist calls me it is because I did something wrong…

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As I have learned that new teammates sometimes respond this way when I first reach out, I now often send a message first letting the know why I want to talk with them to decrease the uncertainty as to the purpose of the call.

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I don’t know if this directly applies to work relationships but perhaps something to keep in mind…

Research has found that the ideal ratio of positive to negative interactions for a couple to have a stable relationship is between 5:1 and 11:1…if couples have fewer than 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction, the relationship is too negative and critical and likely to fail. If the relationship has higher than 11 positive interactions to every 1 negative interaction, the relationship is also likely unstable, as one or both partners are unwilling or unable to articulate important concerns.

The exact numbers are likely not as important as an understanding that any relationship requires an acknowledgment of the things that are going well as well as the things that could be better. Professionally, I think it is important as a leader to make corrections when necessary but also balance that with an acknowledgment of all the things your teammates do well…