The Toxic Leader

We’ve all heard the “Toxic Leader” term thrown around like a manhole cover. In fact, I made sure the title of this post was set off by the definite article, just to make The Toxic Leader seem even more like the antagonist in a monster movie. This term is fraught with peril. Our purpose in this series of posts will be ambitious:

To discuss the context that led to the term Toxic Leader

To define leadership traits and behaviors that are those of toxic leaders

To differentiate a toxic leader from an incompetent leader or an imperfect leader.

To describe some approaches and tactics to dealing with a true Toxic Leader

Why are we talking about this?

Words have meanings. Branding someone with the Scarlet T is somewhere between difficult and impossible to undo. I, of course, realize ALL followers, subordinates, and proteges are themselves PERFECT creatures with no inherent bias, conflict of interest or limited information sets. Obviously, based on this beatific nature of ALL team members apart from the leader, no mistake is possible.

***Can Anyone Sense The Sarcasm?***

Our purpose in this series….

To discuss the context that led to the term Toxic Leader

To define leadership traits and behaviors that are those of toxic leaders

To differentiate a toxic leader from an incompetent leader or an imperfect leader.

To describe some approaches and tactics to dealing with a true Toxic Leader

It may be difficult to differentiate between a toxic leader and an incompetent or simply ineffective leader. Concerns regarding toxic leaders and what to do about them are currently in vogue, and for good reason. The expectations of leadership behaviors have expanded greatly in the past few decades: a turn away from the stereotype of the authoritarian leader as the ideal is fundamentally a good thing, and certainly more concordant with changing expectations of those being lead. Few could argue that these expectations: increased autonomy, participation and impact on work processes and outputs, and expectations for interactions always premised on dignity and respect are without inherent merit. Although these new organizational expectations may be inherently praiseworthy, there simply is no change that isn’t fraught with the peril of unintended consequences. In the recent past there has been a pendulum swing away from authoritarian leadership such that any trait associated with authoritarians (for instance, decisiveness, pride, unilateral decisions, consequences for errors and rewards for success) is immediately and irrevocably seen as a sign of The Dreaded Toxicity. Further confusing the issue of toxic leadership are all the confusing mimics in the basket of “ineffective leader” which comprise a wide variety of domains; those that do not achieve success, those that aren’t particularly liked by their subordinates, those who have intermittent but real lapses of judgment resulting in problematic behavior are often given the moniker “toxic leader”.

Is it the leader? Is it you? Bit of both?

We are not talking about letting toxic leaders off the hook, or enabling them by blaming everyone else but them. We are talking about treating leaders with the same dignity, respect and benefit of the doubt that we expect from them.

The truth is that dysfunction within a team or organization results from a myriad of possible factors. Leadership failures are but one of the cornucopia of potential human and contextual factors that can disrupt organizations. In this post, we will reject the easy answer of “blame the leader”, while avoiding the disposal of the baby whilst dispensing with said bathwater. It might be the leader, it might be you. It’s probably a bit of both. This isn’t gaslighting, it’s reality and humility crashing your party (don’t believe me, see this blog post on followership). We are not talking about letting toxic leaders off the hook, or enabling them by blaming everyone else but them. We are talking about treating leaders with the same dignity, respect and benefit of the doubt that we expect from them. Further, even if your leader is an incorrigible and irredeemable toxic leader and should be removed, it takes time, investigation and objective data to determine that. Destroying someone’s career over a suspicion or a maybe, and without the chance to respond to feedback and choose whether to try or deny improving is egregious and toxic in its own right. Lastly, you want to get as much of the story as you can before you act, as you may not have all the context, or even if what you are seeing is the tip of the iceberg.

Subordinates are entitled to expect a baseline of dignity and respect in their treatment at all times. Period. Full Stop.

Leaders are as well. Period. Full Stop.

Golden Rule: Treat others as you expect to be treated…this includes providing and seeking second chances for mistakes responded to with contrition and regret, as well as demanding the taking of responsibility and acceptance of punishment for truly egregious behavior (i.e. criminality).

…even if your leader is an incorrigible and irredeemable toxic leader …it takes time, investigation and objective data to determine that. Destroying someone’s career over a suspicion or a maybe, and without the chance to respond to feedback and choose whether to try or deny improving is egregious and toxic

I’m sure everyone reading this has worked with a leader that they weren’t very fond of. They heard from some other folks on the team that this one time, the leader had been dishonest, and this other time they said some defamatory things about others, and to top it all off failed to take responsibility for a failure of the team. Also, I’m sure you heard that all this was brought to their attention, and they denied that it happened that way, and deflected any moves for meaningful change. Guilty, right?

Pump the brakes. Toxic Leadership isn’t a one or even potentially a several event thing. It’s an enduring pattern of behaviors, from a person that is consistently resistant to feedback and unwilling to change. Beyond that, The Toxic Leader will actively seek to thwart and punish those who interfere with them.

Let’s start to identify and codify the individual traits so they can be recognized. This step will be necessary, but unfortunately this won’t be sufficient. These behaviors are exhibited by many ineffective leaders (and sometimes by very effective ones). Their presence alone doesn’t define The Toxic Leader. So, once we have a grasp on them we must pivot our discussion to determining what makes the difference between an ineffective/incompetent leader and what makes a leader truly Toxic.

We’ll sum up with this, and tease the next post in this series…

The 6 D’s of Toxic Leaders

The hallmarks of the Toxic Leader are behaviors that Devalue their subordinates, Damage their organization and Deny that anything about their behavior and approach needs to be changed. They tend to be Dishonest and Defame others that question any of these other traits, in an effort to Deflect any attention on their behavior to others’ behavior. On our next installment in this series, we’ll go into detail on recognizing the D’s of the toxic leader

The D’s of Toxic Leaders:

Damage

Deny

Dishonest

Defame

Devalue

Deflect

Take Aways

• Default expectations of acceptable leadership styles is ever changing
• Dignity and respect from the leader is non-negotiable
• Dignity and respect towards the leader is also non-negotiable
• Leader behavior is complex: The oversimplification of a leader to “Good” or “Bad” is fraught with unintended consequences
• The Toxic Leader is a real thing. It takes time, objective data, and multiple perspectives to separate from its many mimics.
• Grace is an underused and under-appreciated tactic.
  • A little bit of grace goes a long way

As always I look forward to your thoughts! Have you ever dealt with a toxic leader? have you ever been labeled a toxic leader? Let me know in the comments below what aspects of this topic you want to read about in subsequent posts.