Sometimes, when people do not know what they need/want (or do not know how to advocate for their own needs/wants) they will relieve that psychological tension by finding someone else to blame for not knowing what they need/want.
It may sound like this… “If you loved me you would know what I want without me having to tell you what I want.’
Or
You: What would you like for your birthday?
Me: Please do not get me anything… spending time with you would be the best gift.
…
Me: I can’t believe you didn’t get me anything for my birthday.
You: You told me not to get you anything and that you just wanted to spend time with me.
Me: You should have known I did not mean that.

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