On Defining Mentoring

I haven’t defined Mentoring any more than the Supreme Court has defined obscenity: I know it when I see it.   This distaste for an intellectually superficial treatment of a term that describes something so vital, necessary and important is my motivation for the following exploration.

Apologies (or you’re welcome) for the stream of consciousness format. Normally, I develop an outline, do a literature search and annotate a bibliography, generate a draft from combining these two steps, and voilà, I have a written product.

I will eventually do that, but wanted to take a step back in process, and brainstorm a bit first: I have wrestled with this term (mentoring) for years now. Everyone else using it seems convinced wholeheartedly that they have it nailed. I am certain of only one thing: I am not certain how to define this term adequately. I have some ideas, that when honestly categorized fall into a general form of discourse I find intellectually distasteful: I find myself describing “mentoring” by comparing and contrasting with other similar and different words that some substitute, e.g. coaching / sponsoring / teaching / training.  In doing so, I haven’t defined Mentoring any more than the Supreme Court has defined obscenity: I know it when I see it.   This distaste for an intellectually superficial treatment of a term that describes something so vital, necessary and important is my motivation for the following exploration. 

Mentoring is an activity occurring within a mutually respectful, supportive relationship between two people with the goal of the mutual development, growth and progress of both members of the relationship but operationalized primarily by the mentor (senior, more knowledgeable, more experienced) teaching, fostering, guiding, and supporting the Protégé or Mentee (junior, less knowledgeable, less experienced).

I think the first thing to notice about the working definition is that the activity itself, is mentioned in the middle of the stating of circumstance (relationship) and the whom (mentor/protégé) comprising that relationship. Mentoring itself is a verb, and strictly speaking is the teaching, fostering, and guiding;  it is the characteristics of the relationship that make mentoring distinct from teaching, guiding and fostering (which are activities on their own). 

If my definition/description sounds parental in nature, good. I see mentoring as fundamentally parental, both in its fundamentally relational nature, and in its constant reminder of one’s own humility, and in its inherent purpose to guide someone into being better than oneself. The original term ( and I will self-identify as one of those pompous, self-righteous, liberal arts types who insists that “words mean things”)  comes from Homer’s Odyssey. Odysseus’s son Telemachus is provided Mentor as a surrogate father of sorts.  Even more telling, Mentor himself is not very effective in his role, but Athena (Greek Goddess of Wisdom) takes on his form to guide Telemachus. The very idea of the “wise mentor” is embedded in the origin of the term. 

Mentoring itself is a verb, and strictly speaking is the teaching, fostering and guiding; it is the characteristics of the relationship that make mentoring distinct from teaching, guiding and fostering (which are activities on their own).

Mentoring has aspects of coaching (feedback and motivation for performance), teaching (feedback and instruction for skills/knowledge), sponsorship (the creation/granting of opportunity to perform/excel/produce based on the mentor’s vouching, teaming, or handing over), and support (encouragement, providing safety and space for emotional processing), but is an umbrella term that supersedes all of these individual roles. 

Again, a paramount difference between these roles, and the overall idea of a mentor is the ongoing and foundational idea of a mutually beneficial relationship. E.g., the Geek Squad at Best Buy has taught me many things over the years, but I would not characterize the interaction as mentoring. Simply stated, I have no relationship with them. I have had plenty of coaches in sports and medicine that I would never characterize as mentors, but nevertheless have helped me realize untapped potential and perform better.  I have been given opportunities from colleagues impressed by my CV and reputation in the form of sponsorship. I have had the benefit of receiving emotional support from co-workers, chaplains, patients and their family members.  None of these singular interactions comprised mentorship. Instead, it is the totality of these roles, within an ongoing, intentional and mutually beneficial relationship that makes mentoring distinct.